By: Andranique Evans-Bethell
Real Life Story.
The night before my wedding I was pulled over by the police during a routine Road Traffic Exercise and later found myself sitting in a police station being interrogated by police officers hours before my wedding. I kept my cool during the entire ordeal which lasted for about an hour. I usually become emotionally overwhelmed when I lose control of situations, and I definitely felt a wave of emotions (in that moment) caused by all the unexpected events which occurred during the day.
As I sat in the room I kept thinking to myself, what next?
Later that night, or morning (I think), and after taking a moment to myself to cry, I joined my closest family and friends for my Bachelorette Party. From the moment I entered the room, my attitude changed and so did my feelings. I enjoyed the festive night, made great memories and took pictures I am ashamed of (lol).
‘What’s a Wedding without a Hitch?’ I am a planner! I am so well organized that I had a
binder which included pictures of every detail of my big day (décor, attire, styling, flowers, floor plan etc.), invoices, and spreadsheets of my guest list, seating arrangements and contacts, yet, on the eve of my wedding, I loss control of events. I missed my hair appointment, nail appointment, almost did not get my dress pressed, and, I nearly got arrested. This was enough to make me wonder about my fate. Were these events signs to tell me run away like the runaway bride? However, my faith reminded me that all things will work out for my good.
In light of the pandemic which has interrupted our lives, many of you may be thinking to
yourself, what next? Not only do you have to postpone your wedding, but you have to decide on a new date that is accommodating for everyone – bridal party, wedding guests, and wedding vendors and so on. Or, you may be forced to cancel vendors because they are booked. Not to mention you have already spent time planning your perfect day and you have invested money (which is “non-refundable”). In times like this, it’s important to focus on the things which matter most.
Rely on the support of close family and friends to help you maintain a positive attitude for your upcoming nuptials. They will offer words of encouragement, share their wisdom, and tell you the most amazing stories about yourself. I laughed so hard at my Bachelorette Party, I forgot about the challenges and roadblocks I experienced throughout the day.
Remember the reason you are getting married. The wedding gown, décor, reception and so on do not make the marriage. It is you and your partner making a commitment to each other which technically only requires you, your groom, two witnesses and a marriage officer to be present. I’m just saying. It is also a demonstration of the depth of your love for each other. At times, we become so preoccupied with the “wedding” and “the details,” we lose focus of the fundamentals – love and commitment.
Refocus your wedding goals. Make decisions that are necessary and set goals that are realistic. Consider what is currently happening around the world and in our nation and its effects, both short term and long term, and set new goals based on this information.
Relax. I know it may be difficult to do at this time, but try not to worry excessively. Keep Calm! Things will work out. Self-Care is important. Take time to deal with your emotions and engage in activities that will help you stay positive and motivated.
My husband and I will be celebrating our first anniversary in a few months. From time to time we look through our wedding album together re-telling the stories of our big day and the events leading up to it, whether good or bad, and we laugh!
Andranique currently works as a high school counselor who has an educational background in both education and psychology with specialty training in School Counseling and Substance Abuse. She briefly worked as an early childhood educator before accepting a job opportunity as a case worker with The Department of Social Services. After spending nine years in the service, Andranique resigned from her post to pursue her first passion, counseling. Becoming a counselor has always been a long term goal of Andranique and she strongly feels this is her purpose. Andranique spent many years working in youth and children’s programs at her church and presently serves as one of the Junior Red Cross’ patrons and a facilitator for JA for Juniors. She is happily married to Mr. Marlon Bethell.